Throughout my life I've gone through multiple periods which could be classified as "depressive". My self-worth was at its lowest, I had only doubted myself. I felt like I didn't want to do anything, as my bad habits and daily life consumed me whole. This sounds dramatic for a teenager, but it's well justified in a personal sense. During those days, I would be out of hope. Then the next day would come, and I'd still be missing that gleam of light. This went on for at least 3 years...but I think it also has to do with maturing.
It all changed on February 21st, 2025. It's weird, because that day was nothing special. Okay, well, it was a Friday...throughout the entire week, I kept on listening to emotionally loaded anime j-rock...and went on Tumblr. I wasn't feeling the very best the week before, so this was completely unexpected. It was so random...but the positivity came from within. I'd say it was a culmination of months of optimistic energy transluced into my subconscious that had only came out into the open then. And for multiple days after, I felt so enthusiastic. Ecstatic. I went through the entire next week with a smile on my face. I wasn't able to recognise myself. These words aren't enough to transcribe how my well-being had pumped up to the maximum then. As if everything would be okay, everything would connect together. My writing spirit came back, and I felt like I wrote from the very bottom of my heart.
To understand it more easily, I coined the term for it: "Mindful Thinking". Nothing fancy, I just thought that naming was more convenient to remain in such spirit. "Mindful" referring to the conscious, attentive and authentic flow of the mind; not distracted by meaningless things. A mind full of mind. "Thinking" referring to the act of formulating thoughts, of course. I'm not here to scream this hasn't been invented yet, but by naming it uniquely, I felt it belonged to me and me only. There is certain beauty in that.
As much as the Internet gives which is useful, there are many things that keep holding me back, inherent to it, which cause harm rather than anything. This argument has been repeated time and time again, and I have to repeat it myself: the Internet is something of a gray moral zone.
Sure, you can find ANY sort of information here. And that's the issue.
As easily as you can become history's greatest mind, you can also install TikTok. Even I, the person who keeps away from short videos and skits, can't call myself a saint. Lately I've been flirting with YouTube Shorts by watching OMORI animatics. As much as I claim to dislike social media, I engage with it every day still. I'm a walking paradox.
Yet, no matter what lies we feed ourselves, reality will always stay the same. It's only different from how you look at it. I hope you, my dear reader, will gain some sort of reflexive moment from all of my rambling. In many ways, this is like writing a book; yet it's not the pen and ink that touches the paper, but the fingers which tap buttons on a keyboard. Below, I've formulated some rules, or how I like to call them, "essential truths" that helped me continue on this path and deliberately not go insane. Long live Web Revival! Long live Mindful Thinking. Am I spitting nonsense already? Weird.
I'll discuss these in detail down below, but first you have to understand something. Like Stephen King said, this is a meeting of the minds. Which is why I want YOU to share your thoughts down below as well. We created these sites to redevelop genuine human contact instead of those fabricated on social media. I am a coward and quite possibly a bad person, because I never act on what I say. But I had enough of that. Since that day, I've decided to make little steps for the development of myself. It's still progress, even if it's little. Even if I cannot truly say what I mean, or reestablish connections, or take care of existing ones...I still have to try. If you are reading this, keep in mind there is a human currently reaching out to you from behind the screen.
(This paragraph totally wasn't inspired by this video.